A Light in the Attic Read online

  A Light in the Attic Shel Silverstein

  A LIGHT IN THE ATTIC

  There's a light on in the attic Though the house is dark and shuttered, I can see a flickerin' flutter,

  And I know what it's about.

  There's a light on in the attic.

  I can see it from the outside,

  And I know you're on the inside . . . lookin' out.

  7

  HOW MANY, HOW MUCH

  How many slams in an old screen door?

  Depends how loud you shut it.

  How many slices in a bread?

  Depends how thin you cut it.

  How much good inside a day?

  Depends how good you live 'em.

  How much love inside a friend?

  Depends how much you give 'em.

  [illustration: across the foot of pages 8 and 9 is a long row of all different kinds of houses: large and small, apartment houses and

  single-family homes,

  thin and wide houses.]

  [8] MOON-CATCHIN' NET

  I've made me a moon-catchin' net, And I'm goin' huntin' tonight,

  I'll run along swingin' it over my head, And grab for that big ball of light.

  So tomorrow just look at the sky, And if there's no moon you can bet I've found what I sought and I finally caught The moon in my moon-catchin' net.

  But if the moon's still shinin' there, Look close underneath and you'll get A clear look at me in the sky swingin' free With a star in my moon-catchin' net.

  [illustration: in addition to the row of houses at the bottom, there is a picture of a child swinging at the bottom of a long-handled net that has caught a star.]

  [9] HAMMOCK

  Grandma sent the hammock,

  The good Lord sent the breeze.

  I'm here to do the swinging--

  Now, who's gonna move the trees?

  13

  [illustration on pages 10 and 11: A child (on page 10 at the bottom of the poem) is holding one end of a hammock. On page 11, the other end is attached to one branch of a large tree.]

  11 HOW NOT TO HAVE

  TO DRY THE DISHES

  If you have to dry the dishes

  (Such an awful, boring chore)

  If you have to dry the dishes

  ('Stead of going to the store)

  If you have to dry the dishes

  And you drop one on the floor--

  Maybe they won't let you

  Dry the dishes anymore.

  [illustration: a girl with a lot of black fuzzy hair is holding a very large plate under her nose and a dish towel in one hand. A broken plate lies on the floor next to her]

  12 STOP THIEF!

  Policeman, policeman,

  Help me please.

  Someone went and stole my knees.

  I'd chase him down but I suspect My feet and legs just won't connect.

  [illustration: a large man with spaces between thighs and boots-- no knees.]

  16

  Mrs. McTwitter the baby-sitter, I think she's a little bit crazy.

  She thinks a baby-sitter's supposed To sit upon the baby.

  [illustration: A

  large woman with a big puffy hairdo and glasses sitting. Small feet

  are sticking out from under her. ]

  14 PRAYER OF THE SELFISH CHILD

  Now I lay me down to sleep,

  I pray the Lord my soul to keep, And if I die before I wake,

  I pray the Lord my toys to break.

  So none of the other kids can use 'em. . . .

  Amen.

  [Illustration: A child is kneeling by his bed praying, his toys behind him.]

  15 WHAT DID?

  What did the carrot say to the wheat?

  " 'Lettuce' rest, I'm feeling 'beet.' "

  What did the paper say to the pen?

  "I feel quite all 'write,' my friend."

  What did the teapot say to the chalk?

  Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can't talk!

  [illustration: A teapot with long legs and feet in men's shoes faces a tall piece of chalk with shorter legs and women's shoes.]

  18

  [illustration: A large carrot with arms and legs, hands and feet, holding a piece of wheat is facing a large fountain pen, which is writing I FEEL ALL WRITE

  on a piece of paper.]

  17 SHAKING

  Geraldine now, stop shaking that cow For heaven's sake, for your sake and the cow's sake.

  That's the dumbest way I've seen To make a milk shake.

  29

  [illustration: a small girl is shaking a very large cow]

  19 SIGNALS

  When the light is green you go.

  When the light is red you stop.

  But what do you do

  When the light turns blue

  With orange and lavender spots?

  [illustration: a tall traffic light bending slightly.]

  20 PICTURE PUZZLE PIECE

  One picture puzzle piece

  Lyin' on the sidewalk,

  One picture puzzle piece

  Soakin' in the rain.

  It might be a button of blue

  On the coat of the woman

  Who lived in a shoe.

  It might be a magical bean,

  Or a fold in the red

  Velvet robe of a queen.

  It might be the one little bite

  Of the apple her stepmother

  Gave to Snow White.

  It might be the veil of a bride

  Or a bottle with some evil genie inside.

  It might be a small tuft of hair On the big bouncy belly

  Of Bobo the Bear.

  It might be a bit of the cloak

  Of the Witch of the West

  As she melted to smoke.

  It might be a shadowy trace

  Of a tear that runs down an angel's face.

  Nothing has more possibilities

  Than one old wet picture puzzle piece.

  [illustration: a single picture puzzle piece]

  21 PUT SOMETHING IN

  Draw a crazy picture,

  Write a nutty poem,

  Sing a mumble-gumble song,

  Whistle through your comb.

  Do a loony-goony dance

  'Cross the kitchen floor,

  Put something silly in the world That ain't been there before.

  22

  MONSTERS I'VE MET

  I met a ghost, but he didn't want my head, He only wanted to know the way to Denver.

  I met a devil, but he didn't want my soul, He only wanted to borrow my bike awhile.

  I met a vampire, but he didn't want my blood, He only wanted two nickels for a dime.

  I keep meeting all the right people--

  At all the wrong times.

  [illustration: a small boy looking at a large genie-type creature with a devilish face, but he isn't scar y]

  23

  ROCK 'N' ROLL BAND

  If we were a rock 'n' roll band, We'd travel all over the land.

  We'd play and we'd sing and wear spangly things, If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

  If we were a rock 'n' roll band, And we were up there on the stand, The people would hear us and love us and cheer us, Hurray for that rock 'n' roll band.

  If we were a rock 'n' roll band, Then we'd have a million fans.

  We'd giggle and laugh and sign autographs, If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

  [24]

  If we were a rock 'n' roll band, The people would all kiss our hands.

  We'd be millionaires and have extra long hair, If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

  But we ain't no rock 'n' roll band, We're just seven kids in the sand With homemade guitars and pails and jars And drums of potato
chip cans.

  Just seven kids in the sand,

  Talkin' and wavin' our hands,

  And dreamin' and thinkin' oh wouldn't it be grand, If we were a rock 'n' roll band.

  [illustration: across the bottom of both pages 24 and 25 are an assortment of girls and boys playing a tennis racket like a guitar; ping pong paddles like cymbals; a potato chip can like a drum; a brush. They are sitting on the sand playing like a rock-and-roll band.]

  [25] SOMETHING MISSING

  I remember I put on my socks,

  I remember I put on my shoes.

  I remember I put on my tie

  That was painted

  In beautiful purples and blues.

  I remember I put on my coat,

  To look perfectly grand at the dance, Yet I feel there is something

  I may have forgot--

  What is it? What is it? . . .

  [illustration: a man standing, completely dressed except for his pants. He's wearing a cap, a striped tie, a jacket (one hand is in his jacket pocket, horizontally striped calf-length socks, and laced shoes) 26 MEMORIZIN' MO

  Mo memorized the dictionary

  But just can't seem to find a job Or anyone who wants to marry

  Someone who memorized the dictionary.

  [illustration: a large open book with a pair of feet sticking out from under it and hands holding the book open.]

  30

  [illustration: at the top of the page, a large star with a small person kneeling on one of the points polishing it]

  SOMEBODY HAS TO

  Somebody has to go polish the stars, They're looking a little bit dull.

  Somebody has to go polish the stars, For the eagles and starlings and gulls Have all been complaining they're tarnished and worn, They say they want new ones we cannot afford.

  So please get your rags

  And your polishing jars,

  Somebody has to go polish the stars.

  28

  REFLECTION

  Each time I see the Upside-Down Man Standing in the water,

  I look at him and start to laugh, Although I shouldn't oughtter.

  For maybe in another world

  Another time

  Another town,

  Maybe HE is right side up

  And I am upside down.

  [illustration: a baldheaded person standing in the water looking at his reflection]

  29 FANCY DIVE

  The fanciest dive that ever was dove Was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove.

  She bounced on the board and flew into the air With a twist of her head and a twirl of her hair.

  She did thirty-four jackknives, backflipped and spun, Quadruple gainered, and reached for the sun, And then somersaulted nine times and a quarter--

  And looked down and saw that the pool had no water.

  [illustration: at the bottom of this page is a girl in a bathing suit and bathing cap sitting at the edge of a swimming pool looking up at the girl on the next page.]

  43

  [illustration: the diving girl from the poem is in mid-air, all twisted up, looking aghast, having just realized there is no water in the pool]

  [31]

  HERE COMES Here comes summer,

  Here comes summer,

  Chirping robin, budding rose.

  Here comes summer,

  Here comes summer,

  Gentle showers, summer clothes.

  Here comes summer,

  Here comes summer--

  Whoosh--shiver--there it goes.

  32

  THE DRAGON OF GRINDLY GRUN

  I'm the Dragon of Grindly Grun,

  I breathe fire as hot as the sun.

  When a knight comes to fight

  I just toast him on sight,

  Like a hot crispy cinnamon bun.

  When I see a fair damsel go by,

  I just sigh a fiery sigh,

  And she's baked like a 'tater--

  I think of her later

  With a romantic tear in my eye.

  I'm the Dragon of Grindly Grun,

  But my lunches aren't very much fun, For I like my damsels medium rare,

  And they always

  come out well done.

  [illustration: at the bottom of the previous page are the peaks of a mountain range. At the side of this page is a large dragon, sitting on a mountain slope, with a tear coming down from his eye, looking at a small woman.]

  33 BLAME

  I wrote such a beautiful book for you 'Bout rainbows and sunshine

  And dreams that come true.

  But the goat went and ate it

  (You knew that he would),

  So I wrote you another one

  Fast as I could.

  Of course it could never be

  Nearly as great

  As that beautiful book

  That the silly goat ate.

  So if you don't like

  This new book I just wrote--

  Blame the goat.

  [illustration: A satisfied-looking large goat sitting on his haunches. In front of him is a fairly big book with a bite taken out of it.]

  34 MESSY ROOM

  Whosever room this is should be ashamed!

  His underwear is hanging on the lamp.

  His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair, And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.

  His workbook is wedged in the window, His sweater's been thrown on the floor.

  His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV, And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.

  His books are all jammed in the closet, His vest has been left in the hall.

  A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed, And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.

  Whosever room this is should be ashamed!

  Donald or Robert or Willie or--

  Huh? You say it's mine? Oh dear, I knew it looked familiar!

  [illustration: a bunch of stuff going from along the bottom of the page up the right-hand side to the coat hanging on a hook. There are a nose-and-glasses; binoculars; bottle with straw; boot; drum; long-necked banjo; baseball bat and glove; apple core; shoe; opened book; clock; playing card.

  35 NEVER

  I've never roped a Brahma bull,

  I've never fought a duel,

  I've never crossed the desert

  On a lop-eared, swayback mule,

  I've never climbed an idol's nose To steal a curs d jewel.

  I've never gone down with my ship Into the bubblin' brine,

  I've never saved a lion's life

  And then had him save mine,

  Or screamed Ahoooo while swingin' through The jungle on a vine.

  I've never dealt draw poker

  In a rowdy lumber camp,

  Or got up at the count of nine

  To beat the world's champ,

  I've never had my picture on

  A six-cent postage stamp.

  I've never scored a touchdown

  On a ninety-nine-yard run,

  I've never winged six Daltons

  With my dying brother's gun . . .

  Or kissed Miz Jane, and rode my hoss Into the setting sun.

  Sometimes I get so depressed

  'Bout what I haven't done.

  36

  DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN

  Skeletons, spirits and haunts,

  Skeletons, spirits and haunts.

  It's a halloween sale:

  A nickel a pail

  For skeletons, spirits and haunts.

  Skeletons, spirits and haunts,

  More than most anyone wants.

  Will you pay for a shock,

  'Cause we're overstocked

  On skeletons, spirits and haunts.

  [illustration: A short person wearing a large pointed hat has her mouth wide open calling out her wares. In her hands are heads on tall sticks: a round head with one eye; an elongated, bald head; a skeleton head; and a bald head with a large nose, bared teeth, eyelashes, moustache and scraggly beard.]<
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  37

  WAVY HAIR I thought that I had wavy hair

  Until I shaved. Instead,

  I find that I have straight

  hair

  And a very wavy head.

  [illustration: A man with a hairless, bumpy head is looking into a hand-held mirror]

  38 LONGMOBILE

  It's the world's longest car, I swear, It reaches from Beale Street to Washington Square.

  And once you get in it

  To go where you're going,

  You simply get out, 'cause you're there.

  [illustration: the front part of a very long car. The rest of the car extends across the bottom of the preceding page]

  39 BACKWARD BILL

  Backward Bill, Backward Bill,

  He lives way up on Backward Hill, Which is really a hole in the sandy ground (But that's a hill turned upside down).

  Backward Bill's got a backward shack With a big front porch that's built out back.

  You walk through the window and look out the door And the cellar is up on the very top floor.

  Backward Bill he rides like the wind Don't know where he's going but sees where he's been.

  His spurs they go "neigh" and his horse it goes "clang,"

  And his six-gun goes "gnab," it never goes "bang."

  Backward Bill's got a backward pup, They eat their supper when the sun comes up, And he's got a wife named Backward Lil, "She's my own true hate," says Backward Bill.

  Backward Bill wears his hat on his toes And puts on his underwear over his clothes.

  And come every payday he pays his boss, And rides off a-smilin' a-carryin' his hoss.

  44

  [illustration: A man sitting backward on a horse. A boot, turned backward, is sitting on his head. The horse is branded with 2 backward capital letter B's. ]

  [41]

  MR. SMEDS AND MR. SPATS Mr. Spats

  Had twenty-one hats,

  And none of them were the same.

  And Mr. Smeds

  Had twenty-one heads

  And only one hat to his name.

  [illustration: along the bottom of this page and the next is a row of various kinds of buildings, short and tall, narrow and wide, each with a lot of windows. A short moustached man in an overcoat is walkin g

  toward the facing page. On his head

  are 21 hats of various kinds]

  [42] Now, when Mr. Smeds

  Met Mr. Spats,

  They talked of the

  Buying and selling of hats.

  And Mr. Spats

  Bought Mr. Smeds'

  hat!